PLP Update

Updated Persoanl Learning Plan (PLP) - September 29, 2012 at 1:30 pm.

Networking assignment

 

The Little Black Book Connection

Networking

By Melissa Miranda

Often, I hear people say, “it’s all in who you know.” That always sounded like an excuse people adopt when they didn’t get what they wanted. Over the years, I’ve come to appreciate that even with hard work and dedication – knowing the right people in the right places is extremely beneficial.
My boss at my very first professional turned out to be my first mentor as well. In addition to professionalism, I remember two important lessons from my time under her: 1) never burn your bridges and 2) never have more than one cocktail at a company function. What she meant when she talked about burning bridges didn’t make much sense to me at the time. I was, after all, 19-years old and focused on the current bridge I was on. Over the years, it has become a very important lesson.

I’ve done a stellar job at maintaining a good image and keeping my customers satisfied both internally and externally. What I have not been so good at is developing or maintaining relationships with some of the very influential people that I’ve had the opportunity to rub elbows with over the past 20 years.

The Little Black Book of Connections does a nice job recounting exactly who is in our network – from family and friends to current and past colleagues. As I read the strategies, guidelines, and rules of connecting, I was thrilled to be able to place a big star next to each one that I am proficient at. There was a couple that I marked as my weak spots. For example, #5 – No connection is made without some form of risk. In a group or with a friend, I am much more comfortable taking risks. Take a risk on my own, however, is no easy task. In fact, the energy that I’d exert just to take a risk would have to be outweighed by the benefit; and, since there are no guarantees in networking, I’m likely to pass up the opportunity. Another challenging strategy was, #11 – Your projected image will often determine your ability to make a real connection. I agree that it is not just about class, but about first class. However, I find it challenging to learn how people refer to you behind your back. I agree that this matters tremendously – without knowing, it is difficult to make improvements. Additional insight on how to learn how others perceive you would be beneficial.

Of course, caring too much about what people think of me heightens my insecurities. When the article discussed “limited self-image,” I related immediately. It is difficult, sometimes, for me to trust my abilities, skills, knowledge, and delivery methods. Of course, being aware of this barrier has helped me identify when I am doing it; and, in some cases, I have talked myself out of it. With practice (and perhaps with age) it is getting easier to manage. The last point in the article/book states exactly what I remind myself on a daily basis. That is, all people are equal and that I have something to bring to the table that will compliment what others are bringing to the table. I am working on fear of rejection and self-image.

Additionally, I have to create a desire to meet and connect with new people. I put a lot of energy into the relationships in my life with friends and family. I have to remember that different relationships require different energy and networking relationships are just that.
It certainly is amazing to look at how far I’ve come – even with a fear of networking. I’m intrigued at what effective networking can do for my life.

 

The Little Black Book Connection Self-Test

By Melissa Miranda

If asked whether I knew enough high-powered people to support my career path, I’m sure I would have answered with a resounding, yes! After answering the 15 questions in the Connection Self-Test, however, my fears around networking became painfully clear. I scored a mere 37. Surprising since I know and/or have connections with numerous people in prominent positions in the healthcare industry, the RI Department of Health, the RI Department of Labor and Training, the RI Department of Education, and even the Lt. Governor’s office. Why then, would I score so low?

Having the courage to connect is a challenge for me. Having the desire to connect is also a barrier. Being unprepared is rarely a real issue, but, the fear of the unknown doesn’t allow me to ever feel well prepared. The fear of rejection also resonates with me. It is hard for me to share ideas because I am afraid they are not good enough or will seem simple or silly to others. Lastly, and most importantly, I am aware that I have a limited self-image. I have been told this by mentors over the years. Being aware has helped me take small steps to improve the way I view myself and the value I bring.

Although I wish it weren’t so, the results of the Connection Self-Test were right on. It is time to focus on small changes to gain the courage to connect.

The Little Black Book - Questions

By Melissa Miranda

Books I am going to read:

1. Water for Elephants written by Sara Gruen
2. Cleopatra: A Life written by Stacy Schiff
3. The Help written by Kathryn Stockett

People I’d like to meet:

1. Deb Ruggiero, Host of Amazing Women, is a businesswoman, broadcaster, state representative and community leader.
2. Lisa Bergeron, President of Leading Women SENE. She conducts seminars and workshops to prepare women for the business world. Bergeron is a motivational speaker. "The attitude we choose profoundly affects the way you lead your life . . . believe in yourself." - Lisa Bergeron
3. Valerie Tutson, a storyteller and executive director of the Rhode Island Black Storytellers. She builds community through stories. "I believe that when we hear the stories of other people, our neighbors, that we gain insight and understanding about other people's experiences. That understanding works to eliminate prejudice and racism." - Valerie Tutson

This, I believe...

Have you ever told a lie to someone you love?  Have you ever been angry with yourself and take it out on someone else just because it was easier than sorting your real feelings?  There are millions of scenarios taking place each and every day wherein people do things they didn’t intend to do or wish they could take back.  These instances happen to us all – they are called mistakes! 

All too often, we are judged by our behaviors; and some people just don’t want to let us forget about the mistakes we’ve made.  Statements are ringing through homes right now that are telling children they will never amount to anything because they never do anything right or that the man next door is no good and should never be trusted - statements that condemn the recipients to failure and ambiguity.

I believe everyone makes mistakes.  Mistakes help us grow and change the way we think or process particular situations.  Mistakes are our way of getting better – with or without guidance.  I believe that a person can change his own destiny regardless of where he comes from and the level of support he has.  

How often have you been given advice– advice you simply ignored.  For hundreds of reasons we ignore good advice from the wisest of wise (aka: those who have made mistakes.)  If you do not make bad choices or can’t remember your last mistake; perhaps, you should take a harder look at your life.  We go through things with every passing year.  We are constantly learning.  Often times, later in life, we are placed in situations where our experience can benefit someone else.  Will the advice you give be taken to heart – not necessarily.  No one is perfect.  Mistakes are inevitable.  Sometimes, we must go through it to understand.

Now, I’m not saying that everyone will get better and grow wiser based on the mistakes they make; but, neither you nor I can say with any certainty exactly who will or who won’t.  What I am saying is that just because someone behaves in a specifically negative way today, it does not mean he will always be that way.  Everyone deserves a fair chance to grow and learn to be better.  For some, outside factors including substance abuse, psychological challenges, and/or a lack of self- confidence (to name a few) will play a significant role in how they change, learn, and grow. 

The impossible can be possible.  People can be better.  We cannot change each other.  We can only change ourselves; and that change must come from within.  I believe that our mistakes are our life’s best lessons.

In short - I believe that who you are today, is not necessarily who you will be tomorrow.  I challenge you to look at life through this lens, if only for a moment.

Author: Melissa A. Miranda